WooHoo

Yeah so I got two more questions and they were have I been to chicago and how big is Toby Mac? Well I haven’t been to Chicago, I want to really bad though I’m sure I’ll end up there a few times over the summer with friends and stuff but yeah I’ll be sure to tell you how it is and Yeah sorry jamie but Toby Mac isn’t big around here not even to the church folk. Freak no one knows what Hillsong is even though they sing there songs it’s quite humorous. But yeah I’ve asked people if they’ve ever heard of Rave movie theatres and they are like what is it like a Rave party at the  movies. So yeah it’s pretty depressing very sad haha. But yeah I really appreciate the questions keep ’em coming. OHHH and as of now my phone number is the same and still functioning idk how  much longer but for now it is so yeah you guys can still holla at me. and my mom doesn’t have texting Blake sorry.

Love you guys/girls,

Tyler

Alright…

So Ms. Sarah Andry gave me my first two questions to answer. Thank you Sarah. Her questions were “is there a mall anywhere around there? What do yall do for fun even though there is “nothing to do for fun”?”. so yeah there is a mall here but it is boring like there is nothing. The coolest things are Pac Sun which is little bitty and Express which just sucks and thats it. And different people do different things for fun. Alot of it just consist of driving around and just hanging out because there’s not much else to do. Seeing movies is pretty big here. And no one knows what a Rave is which is depressing but yeah. Me, I hang out with people for fun or we’ll have band practice which is fun enough so yeah. Keep bringing in the questions.

Love Ya,

Tyler

It’s been a while…

So it’s been a good couple of months since I’ve updated this thing. The reason I haven’t been blogging is much is because I’m slowly growing more of a social life here and because I really don’t know what to blog about. Not to much happens in the good county of Kankakee, Illinois.

 Well Since I’ve been here I’ve made alot of new friends and I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it on here but Some friends and myself have started a band called Apparitions Of Melody and really we aren’t to shabby. Me and our guitar player, Luke, played at a little coffee shop called Moon Monkey on February 1 and here is a picture.

The day after that show I had Good Ole Winter Ball. This is like the Sadie Hawkins of Illinois. Except WAY more formal. I went with a girl named Bridget Smith and she is an Irish Dancer. She actually just came back from Ireland. She’s a pretty cool girl (just a friend for all of you assumers). So heres a picture from that as well. From the Left it’s (Bridget, myself, Morgan, and Nikko)

So Yeah those have been the highlights of my life as of now. Nothing else is really going on besides school and what not so yeah. Well I’m gonna try this thing where you post on a comment or something what you would like me to blog about and I will gladly do it. Leave me some stuff.

Love you guys,

 Tyler

Long time no post

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted mainly because this whole blogging thing slips my mind alot but hey it’s all gravy baby.

So life’s been good I’ve made alot of new friends who I get to talk to alot. Not straight up about God but it’s like those conversations on “What I used to do for fun” I tell them mostly that I used to go at night and hang out with homeless people. That seems to be a good conversation starter hah. but it’s cool how God works cause me I honestly don’t know how to even bring up that stuff and I don’t wanna be all “ALL YOU HEATHENS ARE GOING TO HELL!!!!” but I don’t wanna just lay low and not bring it up so God will bring people to me and we’ll just talk about what kind of churches we go to and the differences between the religions. For instance one girl I talked to she’s Methodist and we had a good two hour conversation on the differences and beliefs and stuff and how when you look at it, religions just really tradition. I mean Lutheran, Pentecostal, Methodist, Baptist, Non-Denominational we all have the same God we just do things different and have a few minor differences in some beliefs. but God’s using me a little bit at a time and that’s the way I think is best right now.

But yeah other than that not alot has been up. Some guys I met and myself are starting a band called Appiritions of Melody. It’s cool cause God is using that to because our drummer is big in church so not only do we play modern music everyone knows but we’re playing some Toby Mac, Relient K, I’m gonna see if we can hook up some Hillsong. It’s cool though

Something else I thought about that kind of makes you think. I’ve been getting these letters from colleges saying hey come check us out and I just realized, it’s not that long until I have to make that decision on what to do and stuff. My aunt is 18 and she got accepted into the college she wanted but man it seems like time’s just flying by. but yeah .

So not to much has been up in Illinois. It’s been in the 20’s alot lately so it’s been cold but yeah. So I guess that’s all. Love you guys. Thanks for all the support it helps alot.

Tyler

Honesty

So considering my last post was pretty gloomy I just had something awesome smack me in the face like two seconds ago.  I realized being honest is way easier than being something your not

 So since I’ve moved I met this girl Casey. I went to homecoming with her it was great. anyhow I got so caught up in trying to impress her and make friends and stuff I started becoming something I’m not. I started cussing, I wouldn’t bring up God or anything. I started to say forget my whole calling thing I’m quitting. but than some stuff happened Friday and I asked Casey to be honest with me and tell me how she really felt about me because a bunch of junk has been going on. So she said I just don’t like you like that you act just like me and I don’t like that. I thought about this and I said to myself I’m nothing like her but since I’ve been being someone I’m not I was acting just like her. So I got convicted like BIG time. So I started to pour out to her I told her everything from church stories, how I started a prayer group, how I’ve felt, what was going on. I started to cry at the computer. she told me something that was like wow. She said this whole time you’ve wanted me to be honest with you but you haven’t been honest with me, If you’d just be yourself people would like you. We want you to enjoy living here not being miserable everyday pretending to be someone. If you were yourself you wouldn’t have to impress anyone they’d already be impressed. It was like God talking to me through her like crazy. I can’t even explain how much better I feel after just pouring out.

 So this is where it gets good I started to send messages to everyone I’ve talked to here and I told them everything as well I apologized, I told them what I’m really about and I was sorry for all of this non sense and one girl named Carissa said that’s awesome my dad used to be a youth pastor so we’re big into church to. and one girl Hannah said she was into it to and she wishes she was that crazy for God. So now I’m meeting people who I can actually relate with (I wish there was some guys in there) but it’s all cool.

So this weekend I learned alot and now I’m back on the right track I went to a luncheon for the new church we started going to called adventure and I met the worship leader and the pastor and some other people and learned more about the church so it was cool.

Well I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense but everything’s going better is what I’m trying to say.  So yeah thanks for the prayers and everything I love you guys.

T-Barry

So…

I’ve been getting comments, calls, text asking when I’m gonna post some stories… Here’s the thing though I have none. This is nothing against any of those people but every-time I read those I just feel more and more pressured. I’m gonna be straight up honest for a second. The first day I walked in that school God was the LAST thing on my mind. I was more worried about whether I’m going to be popular like I was at home or whether or not I’ll make a new friend, I wasn’t worried about if I’d show anyone the love of Christ. Since I’ve moved here I’ve felt so far from God, and it sucks even worse when people are like “Ohh man T-Barry would never stray from God.” People expect things so highly from me and I really do appreciate that because it shows me  you guys believe in me but sometimes I feel like no one understands how I feel. Yeah I’ve made tons of new friends, life’s been fine and dandy but I don’t know if any of those friends understand any of the ways I feel. I’ve felt like there is no one there, that God himself has turned his back. I know he hasn’t but it just gets so hard. I wrote a poem on it and I guess I’ll post that to give you an idea.

It’s hard when you walk in those tall scary doors

Those big red pieces of wood that open up to a new world

A place where you just don’t feel right

You feel like you don’t belong

You’re not like everyone else

You’re like that wrong note in a song

You remember how it was and how it used to be

The friends, the memories, the popularity

But now I’m in a place where I feel all alone

Like a dog whose strayed to far from home

I walk in a place where only few know my name

and because everyday I don’t dress the same

they think I’m lame

It so easy to be rejected when there are people there to back you up

but now that I’m all alone I feel so stuck

like I’m in a hole that keeps getting deeper

like climbing a hill that only seems to get steeper

“home is where the heart is” it’s so cliche

but home is what keeps me standing everyday

these feelings have kept me down, and I’ve basically got the Jonah effect. God sends me to a place that I didn’t want to go to so now I’m mad and I’m just going to keep it to myself. But I’ve been getting smoked alot lately and things are getting better so hopefully soon I’ll have stories. but for now I’m sorry I’ve let everyone down just understand that it’s not easy just because you have God on your side. I start to realize more and more it’s a test and it’ll all be over soon. So like I said I’m sorry this isn’t the post you were expecting but it’s the post that was needed.

Love you guys,

T-Barry

Buddha wasn’t even fat

I bet right about now you are wondering what the freak is that title about well it’s a good attention getter and it has alot to do with my post so yeah. Well BBCHS has been cool the people there are really cool and really nice. I got some cool teachers to none of them are deadly boring. Well I’ve made alot of friends at school they are all pretty cool. I’ve been teaching them some of the words I say like slammin, sweat me, ya boy/girl, freak, bruh, just stuff like that it’s funny because people up north have funny accents wher they carry out there A’s so when I slammin they say slaamin in a nasly voice. I acttually got in an argument with one girl about it because me and some other girl from N.O. could here the accent but nobody else could it was great.

 Well I’m sure by now you’re still wondering what’s up with the title so now I will explain. In World History we are learning about religions and right now we are doing Buddhism. Well we were learning about Buddha (who was an actual person) and I found out stuff that I never knew. Well Buddha’s real name isn’t Buddha it’s Siddhartha Gautama people called him Buddha after he sat under a fig tree for forty nine days searching for enlightment and on the forty ninth day achieved it. Buddha means enlightened one (go figure eh). Well let me give you the full 411. Siddhartha was born in a noble family, at birth prophets prophecized to his father that if he stayed at home his entire life he would be a world ruler and if he left home he would be a world wide spiritual leader. So his dad was like sweat me my kids going to be a world ruler(they knew this because of his traits like tan golden skin and a unibrow). Well Siddhartha got married and had a boy. (I don’t know what happened to them we won’t hear anymore about them they weren’t important). After 29 years of chillin in the palace he said bump this I’m leaving. (since he left his home now he will be a world wide spirtual leader according to the prophecy). He left the palace 4 different times. The first time he saw an old man. The second a sick man. The third a corpse being carried to creamtion grounds. The fourth time a spiritual man who he noticed had peace with himself. After seeing this Siddhartha said all men will face aging, sickness, and death but a spiritual man will escape suffering.(mental suffering that is). Well  after seeing this Siddhartha embarked on a journey to find enlightment (which is total understanding). He traveled throughout the woods and to find enlightment he argued with religious leaders, meditated, (and this is where the title comes in) fasted for forty nine days maybe longer on six grains of rice a day. He got so skinny that if you poked a finger in his stomach you would touch his back bone. The book said he died skinny so why the freak do we consider Buddha fat. The guy was anorexic if anything. We picture Buddha as some fat guy with little chinese babys all over him when really he is some skinny little guy with a freakin unibrow. That is just weird. but I thought it was interestin so yeah well. I wish I had some good little ending note but I don’t so yeah I’m gonna go lata homies.

love ya

T-barry

The Blog everyone has been waiting for

Well at 2:00 a.m. on Monday September 3rd I arrived at my new temporary home in Illinois. As of now I’m living with my grandparents until we get all this financial junk settled than we will get our own place, but it’s all cool. I will be attending Bradely- Bourbonnais Community High School (BBCHS). I am officially a Boilermaker. Man that bombs it’s the long name and the queer mascot all in one but hey I was also a griffin so I guess it’s not that big of a deal.

 Well I’m not going to lie Sunday between 7:45 and 10:00 were the hardest 2 hours and 15 minutes of my life. All the tears and snot flying everywhere it was nuts. I mean seriously if I had a stalker  and they wanted my snot they could probably go to about twenty peoples houses ask for the shirt they wore on sunday and even though they washed it they could still get some. It was CRAZY.

 But all day all I could think about is how hard it’s going to be leaving the church and not having everyone to keep me in line who I know I could turn to for anything if I was struggling. I just thought it’s going to be so hard being a christian. Well than I started reading the cards and letters people wrote me and idk if it’s wrong to say this but I found it more uplifting than a bible. I never really realized how many people actually looked up to me I always thought it was just something somebody said to make sure you stayed in line.  I just began to get all choked up reading them. I really got choked up on the short ones. Cause don’t take this offenseivlly or anything but the ones that were the shortest were from the ones I was closest to. Like Pauls was a few sentences and Byrd’s was as well but those two mean the most to me. Don’t get me wrong I can’t even say how much I appreciate everybody notes I mean you could ask my mom I had to pause a few times and than catch my breath and keep on reading.

Well Jamie gave me this book called Jesus Freak’s and it’s stories about martyr’s and it has quotes and other stuff like that. I opened it thinking man this isn’t gonna help this is just about people dying for christ. (I also hate to read so it was weird just opening it). but as I read I realized there really isn’t a difference. I’m leaving where I feel known, comforted, I’m leaving my original routine to move to a state that has no life. God’s placed me here for a purpose and I just keep thinking about that when I get hurt or tempted or angry. I just know I’m here for a reason and I just need to stay focused on that.

 Well In the book I read this quote from the ApostolePaul he said ” your insults don’t bring me down or shut me up instead they bring me a pulpit” Well after I picked up my jaw off the ground from getting smoked I sent it in a text to tweeze paul and tyler. This was just like wow cause usually when you get insulted your just like ” Well by golly that just hurt real bad” but why look for the hurt in the insult when you can look for the hurt in the person. They insulted you because they know what you say is true and they got something going on and it upsets them.

Well you know I couldn’t write a blog without preaching a little. but I’m gonna go play in the bean field in the front yard. (that was a joke) but yeah uhh pray for me cause I need it. Oh and my sister started a blog you should go check it out. www.maddiefattiecakes.wordpress.com I came up with the name lol it’s awesome. HOLLA AT ME FO REAL.

Love and miss you guys,

T-Barry

New Spoken Word

Well I wrote this from  6- 6:30 today so it should be good. Well here it  is.

People look at this generation as a bunch of  pot smoking, sex having, conformers of the world.

But people are so used to seeing the negative side

That they miss the prize

That’s hidden down within

They don’t see their heart

cause they’re worried about their part

their “role” in society

but when you think about it everyones is the same

cause we (as in you and me) are supposed to live a life glorifying his name

But instead we’re to busy worrying about what everyone else is doing

that we forget what we’re about

instead of excepting and love

we deny and judge

we push away and hate

when we need to speak his name before it’s to late

So let’s change our perspective

instead of seeing the dead crack addict

see the person inside who wants to live

instead of seeing the girl that sleeps around with everyone

see the broken girl who is searching for the one

the one thing that will fulfill that need inside

one who’s not  just in it for a while ride

one who believes in her someone who cares

the thing is he’s already there

He died on the cross and took all our pain

and Jesus Christ happens to be his name.

Well Well Well

So I’m sitting at the annex and I decided I’m going to  blog . Well not much has been up just waiting for school to start and now that it’s almost time for school I’m ready to walk into my war zone.I think this year is going to be incredibly awesome. We just have so many kids on fire  for God it’s awesome. But yeah I really don’t know what to blog about I feel so empty I’m sure when school starts I’ll have like a million things to blog about to that season is coming . Well i guess I’m gonna go because I got some stuff to work on so yeah peace.

Love,

T-Barry